Dear Winter,
Valentine’s Day was only a few days ago and instead of being filled with love, as the holiday dictates, I was filled with ire. At you. You, Winter, and I are not friends. Last year I didn’t mind you so, so much. In fact, I really appreciate seasons and the cycle of the earth – you know, changing of the trees and flowers and such. You seem to choose your favorite spots to terrorize and I had the ill-fated stroke of genius to move to one of those such places last April, when I was enjoying a DC springtime. Really, why don’t you visit Florida? San Diego? Houston? Can’t you spread your winter horribleness around a little, instead of focusing on nice little towns like Chicago?
I will now focus on detailed reasons why I have come to detest you.
• I am cold. If a person knows me even a little bit, that person knows that I hate being cold. And as the force which drives the cold, I also hate you.
• You make it difficult for me to get to work – a place that I have to go no matter how much annoyance you are causing by sprinkling your little snowflakes. I have spent up to twenty minutes scraping off my car of the “presents” you left for me.
• We can attribute wretched traffic to you. Did you know that as a result of the snow you left us it once took me an hour to get from my school to home (which is 3 miles away)?
• You make my little car very, very dirty.
• You are deceitful. While the snow you cause is pretty for a few hours, humans live around here and we have to walk and drive places. Thus, your snow then becomes a nasty mud pot.
• You cost a lot of money. In order for me to be truly happy, the heat in my home must be at 70 degrees and my electric blanket needs to be on. Those things are essentially powered by money, when I would really like to be spending it on a very cute orange cardigan I saw at Banana Republic last week.
• You are causing my recent bout of stir-craziness. Anything fun that I think of to do would require me to walk some distance and that thought alone makes me so cold that my bones freeze.
• You must be in cahoots with the heater in my car. It has taken to making extreme grumbling noises when turned on and it sounds like my car is going to implode. In fact, my car will probably break down and that will be your fault.
I don’t like to be a person that hates, so I have a solution to our little relationship problem. How about you just go away? Great!
Loathingly,
ABG
11 comments:
Dear Winter:
Keep up the good work. A few more weeks of your handiwork and she and her husband may move back to Washington where they are sorely missed.
wait - you guys know the phipp's too? this is getting weird. lovin your blog posts.
So let me see if I am understanding you correctly. You are not too fond of winter? From what my mother says you guys have been getting a ton of snow! Maybe after Matt is done with school you should move to say...Arizona. I don't think winter exists there. In fact, I'll join you...I love it there!
With the last couple of weeks in NY, Doug is ready to move to CA...we feel your pain.
Alissa
I totally hear you and feel your loathing. I really think we should wage a war, sign a petition, or do some boycotting against this antagonist. I have come to he point where I have lost faith that it will ever be spring here in Chi-town.
I second Jayme's comment. Good thing you are coming to visit soon! You will hate to hear that it was 75 at Mt. Vernon today. Go President's Day! And then, we watched the Old Town parade. Lovely. Until it dropped to about 45 and POURED and we had to walk the 16 blocks back to our friends' house. So, i guess you will say, "Ha! Take that 70 degrees. You deserve soaking rain." :)
amen
two words: study burrito.
I completely agree. maybe I will give winter a letter of my own. I am sick of him! I think we get similar 'presents' from the lake effect 90minutes from chicago. I am always cold! by the way it is such a small world - I can't believe your brother and parents know my brother! crazy!
Hi. Just saw that you have a blog. I am Matt's cousin Steph. I have met you a few times. I wish the whole family would start blogging but it was fun to run into yours...Tell Matt I say hi. Haven't seen you guys for a long time. You can see my blog through trevors.
Alissa...I'm so excited to just find you here....plus, your letter, just made me miss your presence more. If you are ever looking for me, you will find me here: http://dhwilson.blogspot.com/
Love you! Heather
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